There is nothing worse than finding myself at the end of the day and knowing that I haven’t tried. What did Sylvia Plath say? The worst enemy to creativity is self doubt.
There are days like that. You start with good intentions – but you must tidy the workplace before you can get going. First step towards a tidy mind is a tidy desk, somebody smug probably said. (Empty desk = empty mind?) Another cup of coffee perhaps. Mmm, nice. The novel isn’t going well and I’m bored with James – no, I’ve changed his name, it’s Peter now – does that sound OK? Does it go with whatever his surname is? Forgotten it already. Bad sign.
Why am I bored with James/Peter? He isn’t alive yet, that’s why. He doesn’t have a personality at all, let alone a personality that’s interesting. He doesn’t do anything unless I push him, he’s just there. I’ve written 40,000 words and he’s still hanging about in the shadows, lurking.
Perhaps it might be an idea to do a bit more to the family history – get that anecdote about the dotty aunt done. Easy (boring?) mechanical sort of job, not too much thinking or imagination involved, just the facts. But first, see if the postie’s been. Ah, goodie – the Listener! Make a sandwich – too early but hey, early lunch, bit of a read, maybe do the sudoku, then I can really get down to some work.
Two hours later, sudoku and crossword done: Dammit the lawn needs mowing. Should have done it yesterday, better do it now, it’ll probably rain tomorrow. There, that’s better. Thirsty. Juice. A little rest, sit down on the sofa on the deck.
Heavens, look at the time! Too late for any work now. Tomorrow – yes tomorrow, I really will get down to it.